New Years Diet?

The amazing stewardess diet - be slim and glamorous, eat all you want. All meals must be taken aboard a domestic airline.
The new high-fiber bread wrapper diet - minimizes the absorption of calories from food. Easy to follow! Eat one bread wrapper at every meal. Based on little-noted nutritional fact that the body cannot digest plastic.
Oral bypass - the new non-invasive, non-surgical, cure for obesity that involves no change in daily meal patterns. Instead of putting food in their mouths, patients are directed to toss food over their left shoulders.
The amazing carcinophobic diet - rules out all foods suspected of being hazardous to your health. Weight loss guaranteed.
Control overeating - replace your ordinary refrigerator with Frigivault; locks automatically, opens 10 minutes, three times daily.
Fat city - condominium and country club, a planned community development. Here, you will not be considered fat. You or your spouse must weigh over 200 pounds to meet residency requirements. Planned recreation program, including bake-offs, taffy pulls and wine tastings. On-site shopping center with Fannie Farmer, Lane Bryant and Dunkin Donuts. Offering by prospectus only.

I found this in a notebook of recipe and food related clippings that Grandma Grimes had collected over the years. It is from "Slim Gourmet" by Barbara Gibbons.